Tuesday, November 08, 2011

All Shook Up. Not really. #NaBloPoMo

Today's NaBloPoMo Prompt: Has anything traumatic ever happened to you? Describe the scenes surrounding a particular event.
Okay I'll admit it. I don't love writing about sad stuff. I know I should. I mean, other writers do. And wow the colorful lives they lead. Sometimes I think I'll never be a "real" writer because I have't had eight hundred fantastical things happen to me, or I haven't lived in sixteen exotic locals, or I don't have unusual hobbies and eccentric ways of dressing.

I should plumb the depths of all my most deeply personal experiences to find material for writing. But I don't like to! I'll happily tell you all about some medical procedure I had, I LOVE a good gross-out! But I don't want to tell you how I feel about it. That's just not me.

Trauma. I have been blessed my life has seen very little that could truly be considered traumatic. I had a car crash in 2000. I had a baby in 2010. Both could be considered somewhat traumatizing... I've stopped and started a few pieces. But no real "piece" seems to take shape.

So I'll just say, on day 8 of NaBloPoMo, I am feeling disappointed that "writing every day" isn't sparking more creativity in me. In the past, I'd write poetry off a single word. Why can't I write a story off an entire sentence prompt? Maybe I need more than a DAY to craft a meaningful piece. Maybe NaBloPoMo is just an exercise in endurance, a warm up of things to come?

Sometimes I think blogging can be bad for me, because knowing I have potential readers gives me a bit of stage fright! I've had a few blog comments in my life that were unkind. I have had people take what I write the wrong way (I know, right!? Me! Taken the wrong way!? Seriously!) ...and trying to explain just made it worse - or at least it made ME feel worse, because nothing is worse to a writer than being "misunderstood." Sometimes I think about those past conflicts and get a little anxiety...

This is a lame post. I think maybe I need to write out what is on my mind and "put it out there." And hope nobody reads it. Really. Other times I consider taking this blog totally private, so I don't have to concern myself with "readership" ... but then I've always been concerned for the reader to have a satisfying literary experience. Maybe a little too concerned. A little too "textbook."

I really do feel "stuck" as a writer - this site is supposed to be about the "writer within" me... but I feel like she can't get out lately. I'm not sure why. THIS is traumatizing to me.

Do you ever feel stuck as a writer, or in your creative expression? In what ways? How do you get past it?

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